We finally bought a travel trailer last week and we are off to take it on its maiden voyage. You know, if it was a boat.
We are going with some of our best friends to camp until Saturday morning. I’ll be offline until then. Happy 4th, everyone!
A Monday Morning Game June 29, 2009
Question: What do the following 4 items have in common?
A broken hand
A huge, lumpy bruise
Missing teeth
A mannequin head
Any ideas?
Answer: They were all a part of one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time.
We spent the weekend with some family members and friends, sans children, and we had an amazing time. It is an annual tradition and this year didn’t disappoint.
We pulled up to the home of this year’s hosts to find mannequin heads lining the mailbox. Two of our group are esteemed members of our local law enforcement and the local cosmetology school provides them with old heads to use for target practice. These 8 heads quickly became the official mascots of the weekend. We took them everywhere (the lake, on the dash of cars when driving, etc.). When we parted ways at the end of the weekend, we all adopted a head to guard until next year’s gathering. We chose the redhead for her stunning resemblance to Conan O’Brien and named her Coneita. We have vowed to take good care of her.
Saturday was a sweltering 102 degrees outside so we took off for the lake. After riding on the SeaDoo all day, I decided it was time I learned to drive it myself. I took one leisurely spin around the lake, then decided it was time to really give it hell. I was running at about 60mph, following other boats and catching their wakes. I’m not sure what happened, but I lost control of the SeaDoo and somehow it and my body collided. While flying through the air I could only worry about my lost sunglasses, but after surfacing I was feeling some pain. I looked down at my left hand (side note: I’m left-handed) and was greeted with immediate swelling and a beautiful blue coloring. Worried about losing the SeaDoo, I swam over, got back on, and slowly made my way back to the boat while steering with my elbow. My hand couldn’t grip the handles.
Everyone on board freaked out, but I insisted I was fine. I decided to drink more beer in hopes of easing the pain. It wasn’t until later that night that I noticed the amazingly monstrous bruise on my thigh. Our resident nurse was even grossed out by its sheer lumpiness. I spent the rest of the night sporting a swollen blue claw for a hand, but I enjoyed every moment of the fun. I’m sworn to The Code that I can’t reveal all the secrets of the night, but I can tell you that an injured hand didn’t keep me from playing the tambourine on my butt and acting as lead singer for our band. My ears are still ringing from the loud music.
Sunday afternoon we all headed to a pizza buffet to have lunch and soak up the remaining alcohol in our systems. When I bit into my first slice of pizza, my dental bridge fell off. Thankfully it was only the temporary one. Everyone at the table loved the fact that I had yet another accident to add to my ever-growing list. I smiled my biggest smile and asked the narcotics officer at the table if I looked like the kind of person he would bust for meth use. IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: Those aren’t my teeth in the above picture. It was too hard to get a picture of my mouth with only one good hand.
When we all went our seperate ways yesterday, my husband convinced me to go to Urgent Care to have my hand checked. It was hurting pretty bad and I had to remove my wedding rings because of the crazy swelling. 4 x-rays later, I found out I had cracked some bones, but there were no nasty breaks. I’m stuck in this horrible splint until I get the all-clear from the doctor that my fractures have healed. The good news is that this splint will double as a bowling glove in the future.
Today is my first day back to real life, trying to get by without the use of my dominant hand. This post is taking forever to pound out with one hand, so I’ll probably spend the next few days reading your blogs and not posting on my own. Cam thinks my injury is hilarious (well, I do too) but she’s been really good at helping me get things done. I already had an appointment for tomorrow to get my permanent bridge put in, so I’m hiding out in my house until then, hoping no one sees my teeth…or lack thereof. Until then, I’ll have plenty of time to bond with Coneita and learn to do things right-handed.
No 7 Year Itch Here June 25, 2009
My very first day as a college student, I walked into my first class overwhelmed and nervous. I remember seeing a guy in class wearing a military uniform and three things hit me all at once. 1) This guy had gorgeous blue eyes. 2) This guys was possibly the funniest person I had ever seen. 3) His butt looks pretty good in that uniform.
Two months later we went on our first date. From that day on, we were inseparable. We were together every day except for the week I had the flu and he wouldn’t come near me (I still remember how upset I was, but I understood his not wanting the flu). When we were not in class or at work, we were together. We often went out with our friend, drinking or seeing concerts or taking random trips. We would sit together late at night and smoke cigarettes and talk about life. We shared so many things, our tastes in music, our views on life, our love for Texas Longhorns football, our common goals, our crazy sense of humor. We laughed nonstop. I remember my dad asking me if this relationship was serious and I told him no. We didn’t want to pressure the relationship, so we never defined anything, never talked about where it was going. I just wanted to enjoy the time I had with him, no matter how long it lasted. No regrets.
This picture was taken 2 months into our “relationship”. He picked me up from work on a Friday night and told me we were going to Dallas. Just like that, we jumped in the car with another friend of ours and we took off. By the time this picture was taken we were on day 3 of our trip, still wearing the same clothes, only having a toothbrush and deodorant with us. And this trip was amazing. I had never had more fun in my entire life. Lots of beer, tattoos, and craziness.
Two months later on my birthday he found out he was going to be sent to Saudi Arabia for a year. I was devastated. Here I was in love with this man, but we had yet to make any plans for the future. A year was a long time to wait for someone that I had only been seeing for a few short months. I didn’t know what to do, so I cried. The first time I cried in front of him.
Somehow, someway, the Air Force had deployed too many people and he never had to leave me. But the dynamic changed after that. We realized what a good thing we had and it got more serious.
Now, almost seven years later here we are. I’m so glad he never had to leave or I might not have a family with the funniest guy ever. The guy with the awesome blue eyes. The father of my child.
A lot has changed, but we’re still very much in love. We might not be those crazy kids we once were, but he still makes me laugh.
I get to go away with him this weekend. Not alone, but without any other children around. I hope to act like a bunch of crazy kids and remember those times when we had no responsibility. Because sometimes it’s fun to pretend.
Sweating through the Boredom June 25, 2009
It’s hot.
Yes, I know it’s summer and that’s what typically happens when it’s summer and no amount of my bitching will change that, but….it’s hot.
This morning I logged onto my computer to see that it was going to be 99 degrees outside with 86% humidity and wind of 1mph. For those of you who don’t get to experience oppressive humidity, just imagine not being able to take a deep breath because the air is so thick.
So I’ve been left trying to find ways to entertain Cam. The pool really isn’t much of a relief unless it’s late at night and I won’t take her out in the blistering sun, anyway. We’ve worked through puzzle books, colored, played play-dough. We’ve played Mama and Baby Elephant. We’ve watched tv. We’ve read countless books.
Today she begged for us to get out of the house and go somewhere, but I was left with nothing. Short of the library, I couldn’t think of anything. I would take her to see Up, but I’ve heard that it’s a tear-fest and I’m not in the mood for sobbing through a cartoon. Our only other option is the aquarium, but it’s a long drive and my husband wants us to wait until he can go. There is a waterpark a few hours away that is for kids her age, but once again we’re faced with the issue of my fair-skinned kid and the crazy hot sun.
So what do you do with your kids when the weather forces you to stay indoors? We’ve been eating popsicles today and I’m half-tempted to let her blow bubbles in the house. We’ve got cabin fever, which we usually only get in the winter. I need ideas, people!
Changes June 24, 2009
I’m learning so many things with each passing year. The one thing I’ve had the hardest time coming to terms with is how the dynamic of friendships can change. I’ve written about it before, but I just had an experience that further drove that point home
I had 3 really good friends growing. They were all my best friends in very different ways and I always felt guilty when I would refer to one of them as my best friend in front of the others. Time has, of course, changed us all and driven us apart. There is only one that I still talk to and see on a regular basis and I am so thankful for her. Another one I still email a lot, but she lives in another part of Oklahoma and we never see each other. The third was one that I split ways with in college. She was dating a guy I hated and we grew apart.
For the last few years, this third friend and I have lived, literally, and few miles apart. She’s just down the road, yet we never see each other. We do the whole awkward phone call thing, but that’s it.
Today she called me up and invited herself over, just to catch up. We visited for about an hour and a half, but I’m left feeling worn out and exhausted and….empty. It was just a huge epiphany for me that I’m trying to hold on to this friendship that is no longer worth saving.
We talked about old memories that brought up nothing but painful thoughts for me. Thoughts of when I younger and stupid and make bad choices. Thoughts about horrible rumors that went around in college, in which people actually tried to say that my baby was fathered by someone else (so totally untrue, so hurtful, so awful). And I didn’t want such things brought up. I didn’t want to be reminded of that horrible time in my life. If that’s all we had to talk about, it wasn’t worth the effort.
When she left today, she kept trying to get me to nail down a date in which we could get together and hang out with all of our kids. I tried to be vague and do the phase out, rather than being blunt. I’m an avoider…what can I say? I don’t know that she got the hint.
And for once, I’m okay with knowing that I’m ending a lifelong friendship. Because if I feel this bad after being around someone, it’s not healthy. She was a great friend growing up, but I’m a different person now. I’m trying to make peace with the person I’ve become, I’m trying to love myself in my new skin. I don’t need a reminder of the past, someone pulling me back into the drama. I need suportive friends and those who will love me despite my imperfections.
So I’m thankful for those people in my life that I do have. Those who are there and make me feel better. Thank you so much for everything.
Yep, Another BlogHer Post June 23, 2009
I think all of these BlogHer freak-out posts are funny. I mean, I know it’s exciting and going to be so much fun, but I’m past the freak-out point. I’m just ready to go and I’m wishing it lasted longer than a weekend.
I ordered some business cards last night. I don’t necessarily want to inundate people with them, but I hope to exchange them with new people I meet so I know where to find them after the conference is over.
I finally got a new laptop, thanks to my awesome hubby who literally shoved me into the store and forced me to spend the money on one.
I still need to buy clothes, but it’s not going to be a huge ordeal. I only need new clothes because I live in the country and rarely wear pants. By pants I mean anything covering my panties. If you ever show up randomly at my house you are bound to find a house full of pants-less people. So, yeah, I need new clothes and this conference sounds like as good an excuse as any to buy some. Plus I need a dress to wear to wedding showers, anyway, so it will serve a dual purpose.
I bought my plane ticket and it turns out that some of our closest friends will be going to Chicago on the exact same dates I’ll be there. I’m wondering if we’ll be sharing a flight, which kind of takes away from my First Time Traveling Alone, I’m An Awesome Woman trip I had envisioned. Bummer.
Other than that? I’m just ready to meet everyone, especially Heather, who I feel like I’ve known forever.
And for all you who can’t make it to this year’s conference? Feel free to come to Oklahoma and I will host my own conference that will include bonfires, BBQs, and country fun. Pants are always optional. For swag you can take home your own cow.
For My Husband June 21, 2009
On this Father’s Day I wanted to write something for my husband. I always talk about what an amazing guy he is, but I never touch on how great he is as a father. This man? He blows me away.
When I found out I was pregnant, it was this great man who calmed my nerves and showed me just how exciting it was going to be to become parents together. He stood by my side through all of the sickness and the doctor’s appointments and the bitchiness. When he was deployed overseas, he wrote letters to our unborn baby. It was a nurturing side I had never seen before.
From the time Cam was born, my husband was an equal partner in taking care of her. Although I went through a phase of The Crazy, he never wavered. He would steal Cam from her bed, taking her to ours to watch old reruns of Hawaii 5-0. They would often fall asleep together in his recliner. There was one night where she screamed nonstop and the only way to comfort her was when my husband hiked her leg up and made farting noises. Even then, she knew that she and her daddy were on the same wavelength.
This man, he was patience unlike anything I’ve ever seen. When I’m frustrated with the whining child or trying to rush to get things done, he takes the time to explain things to Cam or to teach her new things. I often find them cooking together or playing Wii sports. They love to color together or work in the garden or do yard work. He’s not afraid to let Cam dress him up in princess gear while I take pictures. They read books together, dance together, make big plans together.
My husband leaves every trouble at the door when he comes home from work. He focuses on us and nothing else. Even if he’s had a hard day, he can bring on the silly when he gets here. He and Cam love to talk about boogers and poop and toots. They often wage war on me, in which Cam is convinced by her daddy to come fart on my leg.
But most of all, the love that he has to give is what amazes me. We’ve had a hard time as a couple in the last 8 months or so. We’ve experienced a lot and have become jaded. For the longest time I would get mad at him when he’d say that he’s happy with where we are as a family. That he is fine just having Cam. I didn’t know why he wasn’t willing to open his heart to having another child. And I think I finally see. He would love another child, but he doesn’t feel that he’s missing anything. His whole world is right in front of him. He dotes on her and vice versa. He is committed to this girl and to me. He’s here for the long run. He makes us feel safe. He shows love every day, even if it’s not in traditional ways.
I’m so proud to call this man my husband. I never knew when I met this crazy party guy that he would turn out to be such an amazing father. So thank you for everything, honey. I am lucky to have found you and Cambry is blessed to have such an understanding, patient, loving daddy.
Happy Father’s Day.
The One You’ll Either Love or Hate June 19, 2009
I was raised very sheltered. I always knew this, but I never knew to what extent.
I was raised in Oklahoma by a Southern Baptist minister. In this part of the country there are churches on literally every street corner. Damn near everyone now attends or has attended church (Bible Belt, people). Most own guns. Many of us have this crazy sense of patriotism. We eat meat. We don’t get too worked up about the environment. I graduated in a class of 56 people. Church camps were the only summer camps to go to.
And I guess I always assumed, in my own naive way, that all of America was like this. I had heard of people out there who differed from me, but I never really thought much about it.
And then I joined this community of bloggers. People all over the world. And it opened my eyes. I began to realize that people were different. And I was amazed. There were really people out there who don’t eat meat. There are towns with no churches. There are people who actually disagree with our nation’s leaders and who voice their opinions loudly.
And I fell in love. Because these people? They challenged me to think. To form my own opinions. To not trust only what I so blindly followed my whole life. To let me know there are other people out there.
And while I still eat meat, own guns, and occasionally go to church, I’ve changed my mind on many things.
When I first approached blogging, I was a homophobe (for lack of a better word). I had a father-in-law who just came out as a gay man and I was diguisted. I actually wrote a blog post about it and lost many beloved readers. But I’ve changed. And it’s because I was allowed to think for myself. I’ve realized that homosexuals (I’m using that as a blanket term for all of the LGBT community) are people, too. And it sucks because there’s still this part of me, the Christian, Bible-raised part that makes me feel guilty because it’s not how I was taught to believe, but I can’t listen to that part. So much so that I joined my FIL and his partner at a gay bar this weekend. They had been asking me for years and I decided it was finally time to show them that I’m okay with it. It was awkard and uncomfortable at first, but I had a great time. I was able to learn more about my FIL and to see that he truly is happy in this world. And I walked away with a new understanding.
And this is not the only way in which my eyes have been opened. It’s just the most recent example.
There are so many people I could credit for challenging me to think for myself, but one stands out in particular. I had only been blogging for a few weeks when I ran across Erin. There was this woman who was so loud and crazy like myself , but she was able to stand up for what she believed in. When a big breastfeeding fight broke out, Erin called up women all over (and some men, too) to show their boobs in support of breastfeeding. I was amazed that this woman could be so passionate about something that she would bare her body for that cause.
I ran across another woman (who is no longer blogging) who was an Athiest. I had always been taught that these people were pure evil, but I learned how sweet and caring she was. She often mailed me cards or little gifts and she gave so much of herself.
And then there’s Dooce. I know, some of you cringe when I say that because she’s one of those “popular” bloggers. But I fell in love with her as well. Because she was also raised in an almost brainwashed religious environment. And she began to think for herself and she actually went as far as to renounce her religion and come clean to her parents. Something I couldn’t even fathom.
These women and so many other since then just amaze me. While I still hold true to some of the fundamental things of my childhood (God, patiotism, faith) I am so glad I was finally able to think for myself. I don’t see bloggers as yet another group that tried to get me to conform. Rather, I see them as people who finally helped me to find my true self. They challenged me to think for myself and to make my own decisions about life. And while I might feel conflicted sometimes, I’m much happier with the person I’ve become. I no longer have to be told what to think…I can do it for myself.
So thank you, blogland, for everything. I feel like a better, more understanding and well-rounded person.
Stirring It Up June 19, 2009
I tend to avoid all of the hot-button issues, both on my blog and in real life. I have my set opinions and I can’t add things that other people haven’t already said. But I realized I’m short-changing myself by not being myself. So while I’m not going to go on a rampage about crazy things like PETA going after Obama, I am going to put my 2 cents in from time to time.
Today I watched the Momversation video about guns and children over at Girl’s Gone Child. And this is one of those issues I feel strongly about.
I am a gun-toting parent.
I was raised in a house of guns. My father is an avid hunter. From the time I was old enough to ask about guns, my father taught me that guns are not toys. We talked openly and honestly about the subject, then when I was older he taught me to shoot his pistol if I should ever need to protect myself. It was pounded into my head to never touch the guns unless I was a) Hunting, or b) Protecting my life. I never needed that pistol, but I felt safe knowing that it was there should I need it.
When Cambry was born, I never thought of ridding the house of guns, but we did have to address where we would store them and what approach we would take. We have shotguns that are locked up in their cases, ammo far away and out of reach. I have a handgun that stays in my night stand. This gun has a trigger lock on it and the clip is kept elsewhere. I feel secure knowing that my gun is there, as we live in the country and my husband often works nights. So after Cam goes to sleep on those night we’re alone, I load my gun and keep it on my night stand. First thing the next morning, I lock it back up and take the loaded clip out.
Am I overreacting? Probably. But these are scary times. A few years back a woman was murdered only 2 houses down from us. Things are disappearing from our neighbor’s house. And I would hate to face an armed burglar emptyhanded.
But I understand where people get nervous. And I truly believe it’s a choice every family has to make. I don’t frown on people who don’t own guns. I don’t make fun of people who have reasons why they don’t have guns.
I believe that education is key. Every day we put teenaged drivers on the road, driving a potential killing-machine. But they are trained before they are turned loose, so we view this as okay. The same goes for guns. They have the potential to kill, but people need to learn how to use them to eliminate all of the accidental deaths and to learn to repect the power of guns.
When my brother was 11 years old he was out hunting with his friends. Why my parents were letting him hunt with a bunch of other kids is beyond me, but that’s beside the point. A farmer caught them on his land and they all took off running from the man. They reached a fence and we all vaulting over it. One boy leaned his gun against the fence, but as he jumped over it fired and shot him dead. My young brother and his friends carried this boy’s dead body home to his parents.
So where was I going with this story that obviously conflicted with my viewpoint? My brother still hunts. My brother still has guns in his house. Because accidents happen. Guns are not the only things out there that kill. Like I said previously, car accidents kill. Knives kill. Ropes kill. Hands kill. But we don’t outlaw those.
I’ve once used a gun when I felt harmed. Cambry was only a few weeks old and my husband was working the night shift. It was a hot night and I had the windows open to let in a breeze. I heard a noise outside my bedroom window and looked out to find a man peeking it. I reached over for the shotgun (this was before I had my handgun) and the man took off. I firmly believe that if this man had not seen that I had a gun he would have brushed me off as a helpless female and could have robbed us, attacked me, or worse. And I didn’t even have to fire the gun to get my point across.
But fear for my life is not the only reason I have guns. I love to shoot my handgun. I work on my aim and accuracy. It’s just another hobby to me. In fact, I plan on getting my concealed carry before the president makes it impossible to get one. Both for my protection and for my hobby.
Cambry knows about our guns and that they are not toys. She never tries to touch them, she respects them already, and we talk about them often. She knows that we never point them at people (we can expand on that later, with “bad guys” and such, but there’s not need to scare her). She knows that they can hurt you. She knows that she is to never even go near one if Mama or Daddy isn’t around. If I ever sense that they could become a problem I would not hesitate to get rid of them. Because while I love my protection and my hobby, I love my family more. I will always do what’s best for us.
Sometimes I Overreact. Only Sometimes. June 17, 2009
After months of denying the elephant in the room, I broke down and took my laptop to the doctor. It hadn’t worked in a long time and I knew the problem was going to be in the motherboard. I was in denial that a repair would be costly, so I chose to ignore it.
With BlogHer coming up, I knew I would actually need a working laptop. I’m sure my husband’s company wouldn’t be too keen on the idea of my schlepping his work laptop to Chicago for a women’s blogging conference. So I loaded up my trusty old Gateway and off we went.
I walked up to my repair guy and said “Help!” With a laugh, he grabbed Old Faithful and began to take a look. The diagnosis? Sure enough, she’s a goner. Okay, let’s not be dramatic. She needs a new motherboard. Like I thought.
We talked the pros and cons and I can’t really justify sinking $350-500 on a computer that was only $700 new 2 and a half years ago. It would be like replacing a part on an old car every month until you spend more in repairs than you would on a new car payment.
I asked the kind computer doctor to call a Time of Death. 18:04.
Dejected, I carried my sweet Gateway back to the truck with me. And I’ll admit I wasn’t completely sad. I had known it was coming, so I had gotten any information I needed off of it, except my iTunes. (Is there any way to get your music off of iTunes without the physical computer? Because I could technically still get them off of there but it would be a real bitch to do.)
So now I’m trying to figure out how to scrape the funds together to get another laptop before BlogHer. I really like the HP Mini, but I know that it would not have the full functionality that I will need in a computer after I return from the conference. I’m looking at refurbished ones, but they are still almost as expensive as a new one, a new one with a shiny warranty for clumsy folks like me.
I would really love for some awesome computer company to loan me a computer to take to the conference (cough, cough). That’s right, I’m shamelessly asking for something. That’s how desperate I am. I would totally pimp your business for you, whore myself out for your company in return for the use of a computer for the weekend.
But then I would feel dirty and used and still have no laptop for use once I return from Chicago.
So I need your help. What kind of laptop/notebook do you have? I need to know pros and cons from people who have actually used them. I’ve had a Dell (Yuck! Unless Dell wants to give me a computer and change my mind?) and I’ve had a Gateway that I adore and would make out with on a daily basis. Sure, I would love a Mac, but that kind of price is not in the cards right now, so please don’t recommend that to me. It’s like kicking a gal when she’s down.
So it’s possible I will not be buying clothing that fits to wear to BlogHer and it’s also possible I will not be eating outside of conference food when we get there, just to have a computer. So come introduce yourself to me. I’ll be the one in pajama pants and a too-tight shirt who is bumming food off the sponsors. Because I’m shameless.
*This has been Dramatic Meg. Thank you for reading.*
