Insert Witty Title Here September 26, 2007

You know that garage sale I’ve been wanting to have for over a year now?  We finally had it this weekend.  And I’m giving you, oh blogging community, the opportunity to kick my ass if I ever talk about having one again.  It was that bad.

For starters, we did it at the last minute, so there was a total lack of advertising.  We did put up signs, but that was the extent of it.  Second, instead of having it at my parents’ nice, in-town house, we decided to host it at our own, out in the middle of nowhere home.  Granted, there is a pretty busy highway not far away that we posted signs at….but you get the idea.

So we had it all set up and had things priced way too cheap.  And we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  After almost 2 hours, one crazy old bat showed up and bought most everything we had (yay!).  She then started eyeing the clawfoot tub (which was the love of my life until Mr. Corner Jacuzzi came around).  Old Bat mentioned that her daughter was fixing up and house and yada, yada, yada.  She sends the daughter over.  I made the mistake of going inside to grab a bite to eat, leaving The Hubby as the dealmaker.  He ends up selling my precious tub for much less than it is worth (it has the original feet on it which can fetch a nice price).  The lady pays him the money, but won’t be able to come pick the tub up until the next day. 

Not 10 minutes after that lady left, our new neighbors stopped by.  The wife made a beeline for the tub that I had just hung a “sold” sign on.  She fell in love with the tub before she noticed the sign.  To make a long story short, she was looking for a tub just like that and was willing to pay much, much more than what we got from the other lady.  It made me sick.  Not only could we have made more money, but our neighbor would have appreciated it more than the woman who bought it (she’s painting it red!).

By 11:30 that morning, things had slowed down again and we decided it was time to close down.  We wound up with so much crap left over, but we’re so sick of it that we’re taking it to the domestic abuse shelter.  Hopefully someone can use it.  All I know is that it’s out of my house!  We finally have our 4 bedroom home back!

Because I Plan Everything September 18, 2007

I’ve posted before about my confusion when it comes to whether or not we should have another child.  I must be really hormonal lately or my biological clock is winding up again or something because these things are all surfacing again.

I always saw myself as having at least two children.  But now that I’m faced with that decision, I don’t know that I even want more than one.  I keep weighing my options, but I can’t seem to find one that outweighs the other.  The Hubby is pretty indifferent.  He doesn’t want another one, but if we were to have an “accident” child, he would be fine with it, even happy.  So here are some of my personal conflicts:

 I had the pregnancy from hell.  I know “they” say that the second one is different, but I’m too scared.  I will have to have a c-section again, not only because no one around here will do VBACs, but also because I have a misshapen uterus that will not allow me to have a natural birth.  I also had a very severe problem with my emotional state after Squeaks was born that I’m scared to experience again.  I’m just not sure that my body is willing to go through it again.

Another thought is that Squeaks would not take a new baby well at all.  There is a new baby at my sister’s child care (where she stays while I’m at school) and Squeaks is very, very jealous and doing a lot of acting out.  I don’t want to make her go through that at home.  Plus, the time we are able to spend with her is already limited — I hate to cut that in half while we’re taking care of another one.  But the bottom line is that I’m afraid I could never love another child as much as I love my Squeaks.  She is the best thing I’ve ever done and I don’t know that I can share that love.  I know you will tell me it’s possible, but I can’t fathom it.

On the reverse side, I feel that I would be neglecting the new baby because I wouldn’t be able to give my sole attention to it, like I was able to with Squeaks.  I wouldn’t be well rested with two kids around, which hurts my mental state.  And then there’s the issue of finances.  We are at a place where we can provide well for Squeaks and we have already started saving for her college.  But if another child comes into the picture that we are having to pay for, I’m afraid we wouldn’t have the funds to set back for two college stints.

But then I think about the few good pregnant moments I had.  I remember the excitement and anticipation.  I remember holding my Squeaks for the first time and falling in love.  I remember days spent snuggling and rocking, nursing and bonding.  And it’s those moments that I would love to have all over again, even with a new little person.

So I know I sound like I’m overanalyzing things, but I am really having this internal battle every. minute. of every. day.  It’s consuming me.  Does that mean I subconsciously want another one?  Who knows…

As If I Wasn’t Obsessed Enough About TV…. September 17, 2007

We finally joined ranks with the rest of the world and we now have satellite tv!  I have been waiting for this since we moved into this house last October.  I was spoiled with cable, but when we moved out here to the hillbilly country we were unable to get anything but satellite.  We tried to be money conscious and not spend the money on it, but we finally broke down (The Hubby got a better-paying job, but that’s another entry)!

To top it off, we also have two shiny new DVRs that are just begging me to record the most random crap I can find.  And I’m already fulfilling that duty.  A marathon of America’s Next Top Model?  Recorded yesterday.  Some Dr. 90210?  Sure…haven’t seen it in a year or so.  And I’m just shaking with anticipation of the fall lineups starting this week.  I need help.

Spare Parts September 13, 2007

Well I guess I wouldn’t be making my blogging comeback without having a mother-in-law story, so here goes.

As my longtime readers know, my 15 year old brother-in-law was killed in a car accident almost three years ago.  Since then we have all dealt with our grief in different ways, my MIL’s being that she’s trying to convert my daughter into her lost son.  Anyway, we were all having the discussion recently of whether or not The Hubby and I were going to have anymore children.  I was explaining that while I would love to have another child, I don’t know that I want to go through another pregnancy from hell, a c-section, and the horrible post-partum period.  We were all discussing the pros and cons, when my MIL piped up.  She informed us that you should always have more than one child, that way if you lose one “you can have a spare”.  Yeah that’s right, a spare.

From there she went on to belittle my husband by discussing how he has been her spare through this whole ordeal.  She said that while he may not be like Casey, he’s got potential to develop the same qualities.  I was dumbfounded that she would even go there.  I can not imagine considering any more of my future children spares in case something happens to Squeaks.

Yes it was true that she favored her youngest, but it is ridiculous to insinuate that my husband (the next best thing) will just have to do.  Just one more reason why my respect for her dwindles every day.

The Angels Are Singing September 12, 2007

Ever since the death of The Hubby’s grandmother, we’ve been spending lots of extra time with his grandfather (who happens to also be our neighbor).  He’s such a fun, quirky old man, but he totally caught me off guard tonight.

Squeaks and I were visiting his house after dinner.  He had the news on tv while we were visiting.  When the weather came on, he pulled out a little calendar and wrote down the day’s temperature.  After quizzing him on why he was doing such a thing, he answered with this:  “I’m going to do this every night.  That way this time next year when they say what the temperature was a year ago, I’ll know if they were telling the truth.”  The man cracks me up.  Talk about too much free time.

In related news, said grandfather and my MIL are off on a week-long vacation, starting Saturday.  That means ONE WHOLE WEEK without dealing with her crap!  Is it wrong to hope she decides to stay on vacation permanantly?

The Best Thing Ever September 10, 2007

My kiddo is damn near 2 years old and she finally started calling me Mommy yesterday.

She’s been saying it for a long time, but she thinks Mommy is just that woman whose picture is framed on the shelf.  If I ask her to find Mommy or say Mommy or anything like that, she runs over to the pictures and points me out there.  But she’s finally made the association (or else just quit being an ass to spite me) and is calling me Mommy.  And it’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. 

Fixed September 8, 2007

Okay all, I think the comment situation should be fixed.  You should no longer have to be logged in to leave a comment.  Sorry it took me so long to fix it, but I’ve been busy!  Now that it’s done, I plan to be blogging often again, so stick with me!

Rounding the Bend Towards Two September 6, 2007

I totally bribed my daughter yesterday and I do not feel bad about it at all.

You see, Squeaks has been having this horrible problem with bedtime and naptime.  Once a child who would willingly go to bed now screams and throws a huge fit.  It’s like she is terrified of something, but we can’t figure out what.  She’s been in a toddler bed for over a month now, but these problems just started about a week and a half ago.  The only way to get her to sleep is to sit by her bed all. night. long.  And if any of you know me, you know how much I need my sleep!  So needless to say, I’ve been grumpy and Squeaks has been whiny because we’ve both been missing mass amounts of zzzz’s.

So I broke out all of the books, called the pediatrician, and talked as best I could to Squeaks.  I was trying to figure out what was freaking her out so badly.  I tried everything that was suggested to me and nothing worked.  So I broke down yesterday and decided to resort to bribery.  I took Squeaks to Target and told her to pick out anything she wanted for her bed or her room.  She made a beeline for the Backyardigans room decor (no big surprise there) and picked out the toddler bedding set.  On the plus side it was on sale!  Anyway, this set included a pillowcase, so I bought her a pillow since she’s never had one up to this point.

Once we got home with our loot, I had Squeaks help me change the sheets and put the new blanket on.  We talked about all of the characters and how they were now going to be sleeping in bed with her.  When it came time for a nap, she gladly hopped into bed and I never heard a peep out of her until she woke up from her nap!  At bedtime last night, she was excited to go to bed!  The Hubby and I just sat outside her door, doing a dance because she actually went to bed on time without hours of screaming!  But the best part was the she slept through the night.  Since this ordeal started she hasn’t slept through one single night.  Grrr.

So I know I can’t resort to bribery at every phase she goes through, but when it involves my sleep, I am more than willing to pay up!

****

By the way, I know the comments are still screwy on here.  I’ve contacted my tech support person and will hopefully have it fixed where you all can comment again.  I’m over my blogging slump and am ready to start writing often again, but it’s no fun when no one can communicate with me!  Hang in there guys!