Okay, so I was going to take a break from memory lane and post my reaction to the craziness that is the whole Miley Cyrus madness, but Jennster beat me to it and echoed my sentiments exactly. So go read it. Give her some love and give me a break for today.
2005 began and found me attending Oklahoma State University to become a veterinarian. The program is typically 8 years long, but I was figuring it would be more like 10 to 12 for me, simply because I was burning out fast. I was working for a very unethical veterinarian and in mid-January, I left that job, simply because I couldn’t take working for him anymore. I had plenty of money saved up so I decided to go job-less for a few weeks, as I’d never had that luxury before. But with school being my only resonsibility, I fell back into the old party routine. My roommates and I hit the strip every night for whatever specials they had, then a party always formed at our house after closing time. I was having the time of my life.
My now-husband and I had been dating for years at this point and we were very committed. We were talking marriage, but couldn’t decide on when we wanted to do it. There was no rush for us, as it was simply a legal piece of paper to reaffirm our committment to one another. In February we loaded up with a bunch of our friends to attend a music festival in Dallas, which happened to coincide with my hubby’s birthday. A drunken rendezvous in the hotel shower came back to haunt us 6 weeks later when I found out I was pregnant. I was mixed in my emotions, but hubby was thrilled. His excitement won me over. I had always wanted children, I just didn’t know it would happen so soon. But reality began to set in that I had no job, no insurance, and was quickly running out of money. I could go find jobs, but not many people want to hire a pregnant woman who can’t hold down any amount of food.
And then there was the issue of my parents. My southern Baptist preacher of a father and my mother would not take this well. At all. And they didn’t. They were devastated and mad. They were hurt. They were every negative emotion possible and it never crossed their minds that this wasn’t a disaster. It’s a baby. I knew they would come around, but we had dropped a pretty big bombshell on them.
Back at my house in Stillwater, my roommates were up to no good. Apparantly having a pregnant roomie was bringing them down and they were having none of it. Drama ensued and I decided it was time to move back home, where my now-hubby was and where I could be closer to family. But I wasn’t ready to live with my parents and I didn’t have the money for my own place. Hubby was living with his mother, helping her out with bills since her divorce had left her with nothing. We decided the two of us would start looking to buy a house soon, no rush as long as we were in before the baby was born. We kept discussing marriage, but didn’t want to rush it simply because I was pregnant. We didn’t want people to think we married out of obligation. We had decided on marrying after the baby was born and I didn’t look like a pregnant cow.
And that’s when the Air Force decided to take my man from me…send him overseas to fight for our country. I was crushed. He was the one constant in my life and he was being taken from me. The uncertainty of the war scared me. I didn’t want to stay with his mother while he was gone, so I went back to my parents, who were able to put me on their insurance since I was technically still a student. I spent the next 45 days in bed at their house, crying, waiting for the time at night when I could instant message with my man, if only for a few minutes. I was beyond depressed and feeling all alone. My parents really tried to be there for me, but I was still unsure of their intentions, isn’t that horrible? At least I had my baby, the one thing that gave me hope for the future.
The day my hubby came home was amazing. It was the first day I felt the baby kick and it was like she knew her daddy was coming home. It was so nice to cry tears for a good reason. We spend the next few weeks traveling and reconnecting after being apart. He was so great. But when I was 26 weeks pregnant I went into early labor. I was put on bedrest, which meant I had to drop out of school. When this happened, I was once again dropped from insurance. At this point we had a decision to make: should we get married so I could be covered by his insurance? It sounded like a horrible reason to marry a man, but we knew it would end in marriage at some point. With my pregnancy complications I could not go on without insurance. But the thought of marrying out of necessity really bothered me. I didn’t want him to feel that he was stuck with me because of it.
One night it all came to a head when I refused to marry him for insurance purposes. He kept reiterating that he wasn’t asking just for health concerns, but because he loves me and wants to be married to me. I didn’t buy it. Finally he stomped off to the closet, pulled out and box and in his underwear gave me a ring, saying “Does this prove it?”. He had bought me an engagement ring overseas from a diamond dealer, but had been hiding it from me because he didn’t want me to think he did it out of obligation. He wanted it to be special, a gift to me after our daughter was born. But I screwed that all up. My excitement was mixed with sorrow that I spoiled such a sweet thing!
We filed for a marriage license, not wanting to waste any time in case I went into labor again. On September 5th (Labor Day), we got married in my parents’ living room. My dad the preacher performed the wedding. My brother and his wife were our witnesses. We wore shorts. Dad gave me a bouquet to carry, ordered a cake, and made punch. It was perfect…almost. My mother missed it. She was out of town, but she didn’t want us to wait just in case I needed that insurance. I still wish she could have been there, but that day was still amazing and so totally US. We don’t ever do anything by the book, so why should our wedding be any different?
Although some people still see it as a marriage of necessity, we both know how real it was for us. We both cried and spoke from our hearts. It’s a day I will never forget.
During my first semester of college I was dating this guy that I can now only cringe when I think about. He and I were horrible together, but I was dealing with the whole mind-games thing that guys do and I was staying with him. I had a certain agriculture class in which we all talked about our lives and what was going on. In this class was a guy who caught my eye. I would share in class about my awful boyfriend and they would all make fun of me for staying with him. Even I knew it was pathetic, but I was young and dumb.
I bought some tickets to go to a George Strait concert in Oklahoma City (George happens to be the true love of my life). My boyfriend and I were supposed to go to this concert together on Halloween. But as the weeks up to the concert drew near, I was getting fed up with my whole relationship. I finally ended things, thankful to be out of such a verbally abusive realtionship. Because of this controlling boyfriend, I had cut a lot of ties with my old friends from high school. I found myself with and extra ticket to George Strait and no one to share it with.
I showed up for my agriculture class one day, still trying to figure out what to do with this ticket. From out of the blue, this guy I had been eyeing all semester approached me and asked me out. I jumped at the chance to go out with him and told him I had the perfect idea for our date. We agreed to meet and drive to the City together for the concert. We didn’t exchange numbers or anything, so I got nervous, thinking he would stand me up. But lo and behold, he came. We made the trek to OKC together and had an amazing night. We drank way too much, danced, sang, and got to know one another. And then I made an ass out of myself. I got so drunk that I made him pull over on the side of the turnpike so I could throw up. And I’m pretty sure I popped a squat and peed in the median. It was bad.
When we got back to where we had met up, he told me that I was in no condition to drive (obviously). He told me that he had an extra room at his house and that I was welcome to crash there until I could drive the next morning. And here’s where I’m so glad this guy wasn’t a serial killer because in my drunken stupor, I agreed. He took me to his place, tucked me into bed, then left me alone the rest of the night. Even that drunk, I realized he was a pretty great guy for not trying to take advantage of me. It wasn’t until the next day that I learned that he did not have a spare room, he let me stay in his bed while he slept on the couch. He then drove me to my truck, gave me his number, and left.
I figured that this guy was too nice to be real. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I called him just so he had my number, but I didn’t persue it any more. Thankfully, he did. I heard from him every day after our first date. We were constantly together. I didn’t think I was ready for it after just ending the other relationship, but I just felt drawn to this man.
As I’m sure you all figured out, this date of mine is now my sweet, loving Hubby. He fell for me despite that fact that I became a raging drunk on our first date. He held my hair while I puked in the median of the road (and I’m pretty sure I puked on his boot). I don’t know what attracted him to me, but I’m so glad it did, as I have the best husband in the whole world!
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More stories to come about the antics my husband had to put up with while dating me….and more.
I haven’t posted a lot lately, mainly because there are things going on that I haven’t felt like talking about. Things like finances and marriage. And these two things mainly center around this battle we’re having over my being ready to have another child. Basically it’s all really touchy right now and I don’t feel like spreading it out for all of blogland to read.
So the whole point of this is to let you know that I’m not going to stop blogging because of this. Instead, I’m going to take a different route in my posts. I’m going to be telling you all more about myself. Instead of sharing what’s going on right now, I’ll be sharing about my past. This could get very interesting. So please don’t give up on me…stay tuned for what promises to be embarassing!
I was really hoping that the hillbilly-dom (yes, I’m making it a word) of our great state would not wear off on my daughter. No such luck. She’s taken to wearing overall shorts (with no shirt underneath) and rubber rain boots. And she wants to wear them all. the. time. Even to bed. I put her in bed last night, took her boots off, and she cried for “My BOOTS!” for over an hour. I’m not even kidding. I know kids go through these phases where they want to pick out their own clothes or they express themselves oddly, but I’m scared of where it’s leading. What’s next? Squirrel hunting? Pinning a rebel flag up over her toddler bed?
My sister’s son is 13 and he’s at that awkward stage in life. He is taller than me and his voice sounds like a man, but he’s still all gangly. He spends hours playing his electric guitar (and he can really rock) and he skateboards. Basically he’s your typical sullen teenager. But when it comes to Squeaks, he’s a completely different person. He’s always trying to hug her and play with her. He adores her and vice versa.
Tonight we went to dinner with my sister’s family at Cracker Barrel. We browsed the gift shop while we waited for our table and my nephew took Squeaks over to watch one of those toys that looks like a weasel playing with a ball, the annoying ones that roll all over the place. Squeaks loved it. She was cracking up and trying to touch it and my nephew was right in the middle of it. After we ate dinner he took her back over to it. And as we were leaving, Squeaks came running over to me with a big brown sack. My nephew had used his own money to buy one of the weasel toys for her! This from the kid who socks money away to buy guitar stuff or PlayStation games or skateboard stuff. The kid who always wants money in return for helping out. He’s always making some sort of deal and he never shares money. So I was totally blown away that this teenage boy would do something so nice for his cousin. I almost cried right there in Cracker Barrel.
But now I have this damn weasel toy in my house…
Apparantly now that I’m a stay-at-home-mom again I’m getting all domestic. It never happened before, and I’m thinking it’s just a passing phase this time around. I’m cleaning. I’m cooking. I’m putting laundry away. I’m gardening (WTF?!). I’m turning into someone I don’t know!
Maybe I’ve just realized that this is my job now and that I want to do great at it. Maybe it’s because my husand has put up with a lot of my crap lately and I want to thank him. Or maybe it’s all going to blow up in my face soon and I’ll do nothing but sit in the yard reading a book, watching Squeaks in the sandbox, and contemplating the weeds that are growing in my now-present garden. But I’m cool with that because that’s the Meg I know and love!
“Are you giving blood at the blood drive today?”
“Yeah. I’ve been trying to lose weight and I haven’t eaten in a few days, so I’m thinking I’ll lose a couple of pounds if I give blood.”
What I would give to see them scrape her skinny ass off the floor when she passes out!
At 4:30 this morning, we got home from a whirlwind trip to Iowa. We have some very good friends who live up there and one of them is leaving this week for his third tour of duty in Iraq. He will be overseas for 15 months, so we made the quick trip up to send him off properly. It was so nice to be with such great people that we don’t get to see that often. It was too short, though, and I wish that we could have stayed.
But this week marks the end of my working career! Tax season is over tomorrow. I will come in for a few additional days to work on collecting money from some people, but then it will all be over. I’ve really enjoyed the job, but I’ll be so glad for that time back. And my ass will be glad that we can start going to the gym again, as it’s growing in rapid sucession.
And this crazy school semester is about to wind down. I’ve got lots of studying to do, but then I can relax for another month before it all starts again.
In other news, I haven’t seen my Squeaks since Friday and I’m dying. DYING. She’s at my sister’s and I would have gone to get her first thing this morning, but she has to stay there this afternoon while I work. We didn’t want to upset her by seeing me and then getting left again, so I have to wait until 5:00 tonight. She’s fine, but I’m the one going crazy. She’s probably a foot taller and can do everything without me now. I’m never leaving her again.
Thank you so much for all of your nice, reassuring advice pertaining to my last post. I was really caught up in a struggle at the time and it was so helpful to hear what I already knew deep inside. I talked to The Hubby about it and he had no idea it was making me so crazy. He just thought I would love the job and that’s why he even mentioned it. And I would love it, but not now.
And if I needed any more validation, Squeaks got very sick (again) on Tuesday and I had to call in to work. It just made me realize how I would have to miss a lot in a new job because my daughter needs me for so many things.
So…no awesome job for now because I’ve got an even better job here at home.
