Is This How Einstein’s Mother Felt? August 17, 2008

Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile might remember my sister.  She doesn’t blog anymore, but she used to write about her daughter that she called Drama Queen.  Well I’m here to tell you that I’m raising the next little Drama Queen.

Since my MIL moved away in June, she has been sending lots of cards in the mail to Squeaks.  This week she sent a care package full of random things from the town she’s now living in.  Squeaks was so excited that she kept telling me “Thank you soooo much”.  I told her that it was from Nana, not me, and that we should call her and thank her.  For some reason Squeaks has been allergic to talking to her Nana on the phone.  I guess it’s just a game, but she WILL NOT talk on the phone.  When I suggested the thank-you call, she weakly told me “I can’t.  I’m dizzy.”  When I told her that she was fine and could make the call, she hung her head and sighed about 3 times, slowly.  She finally raised her head and said “I’m so dizzy.  I need chocolate.”

Little shit.

But sometime she freaks me out with what she notices.  We were going to my sister’s house yesterday.  We were driving through the neighborhood when Squeaks pointed to a house and said “Hey!  They have a new roof!”  And they did.  I only knew this from being told about it week before, but Squeaks had heard nothing of it.  The kid looked at the roof and knew it was new.  I’m not sure if she’s OCD or a genius.  The verdict is still out.

In other news, I got the job that I’ve been interviewing for.  I’m really excited to take it and I love the people I will be working with.  I start Wednesay.  As far as the child care thing goes, we might have found someone.  I haven’t met her face to face yet, but we’ve emailed and spoke on the phone and she sounds amazing.  We meet her Tuesday and I hope she’s all that I hope she is (you know, one who farts pixie dust).

I was so worried and guilt-ridden about leaving Squeaks in daycare, but I finally feel like I’m doing the right thing.  We’ve spent the last almost-3 years together and it’s been wonderful.  She’s learned a lot.  She knows her colors and numbers, can count to 17 (odd number, I know), and can name most of the letters of the alphabet.  She can clean up and is potty trained.  She loves to read books and play with toys.  But I think she needs something now that I can’t give her:  child interaction.  I’ve tried to take her over to my sister’s day care to play with kids, but I think she’s needing more than that.  She needs to learn to act like a kid, not like me.  She need friends and playmates.  She needs to share and stand up for herself and learn all those other lessons that come from groups of kids.  I know she’ll miss me…she always does.  But I think she’ll have so much fun.

Damn.  I feel like she’s going off to college or something.  I’m pushing her out of the nest.  I just hope I can cushion her fall so that her spirit doesn’t break when she falls.