Pity Party Part II July 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like I’m in a really big auditorium, speaking into the microphone, and there’s only Alison present (and the occasional Heather and Mrs. Rum). It’s time like that when I’m frustrated, but then I have to remind myself that I write this blog for ME. Sure, things around here have changed a lot and I don’t have the time to blog a lot, but sometimes I get confused as to why I lost a bunch of readers. It’s like a freakin’ high school popularity contest again and I’ll be damned if I want to go through that crap again!

So what I’m saying is I’m a comment whore, plain and simple. I shouldn’t be, as I write about my own feelings and only need to answer to myself, but it’s true. And you all know that you are too!

So even though I will continue to do what I want and blog about what I want, do any of you have any ideas of what you want to see, what you want to hear about, etc.? I’m thinking of making some big changes around here, and I would like some input.

Feeling Sorry for Myself February 24, 2007

I had a really funny story to tell today about a really cool car and the way I totally made an ass out of myself while driving it, but I think it’s going to have to wait a few days. Today I just need to vent.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I need a change, but I’m not sure what it needs to be. The happy and rewarding feelings of being a SAHM are really wearing off and I am totally guilt-ridden over it. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy being able to see so much of my dear Squeaks, but I’ve recently started feeling suffocated. Do I want to go back to work? Not really. Not full-time at least. I enjoy not having to be anywhere 5 out of 7 days (2 days are school). I enjoy being free to vacation when I want, don’t have to worry about sick days, don’t have to deal with bitchy bosses. But if I hear one more toddler meltdown and/or tantrum, I’m going to go insane.

I think my biggest problem is lack of socialization. I’m a very social person and I’m not meeting my quota of friend-time. It’s rare that I get a chance to go out, but when I do I’m usually too tired to do anything and I end up in bed. When my poor husband comes home, I bombard him with questions and stories. He’s very nice to take it all in stride, but I know he doesn’t really care what happened when I went to the mailbox today. But on the flip side, when I finally get to go out with friends, I have nothing to talk about other than Squeaks. They talk about their jobs and places they’ve been and all I can think to say is something about The Backyardigans.

Yeah, I guess I’m feeling sorry for myself, but I just don’t know what to do. I realize how fortunate I am that I am able to stay home and be with my little girl during these years. I realize that it is the most important job I will ever do and that it is more rewarding that anything else. And that’s why I feel guilty for wanting a change. But as one more plate goes flying off the high chair, I lean closer to the other side.

So what I’m finally getting to is this: how have you SAHMs handled the isolation of the job? And for you working moms, I salute you because I know I could never handle the pressures of work, toddler, housework, student, and wife. Okay, maybe I could, but I don’t really want to!